Desperation and Pregnancy

My doctor had the nerve to tell me today that I am dialated to a 1.1 and 40% effaced. Clearly this was an attempt to make me feel like I have made some progress since last week when I was a 1 and 30%. I do not feel better.

During the last few weeks of pregnancy, everyone begins to tell you all of the "tricks" for inducing labor yourself. The farther along I have gotten, the more ridiculous these suggestions have become. I think people get a big kick out of seeing just how far women will go to try to get the baby out. Unfortunately, I am desperate enough that I have tried many of these "tricks" with no luck. But in the future, if you see a poor pregnant woman walking along the street with one foot on the curb and one foot on the asphalt, try not to laugh too hard.

For other pregos out there, here are some things that you can try:

Curb walking (you will look ridiculous and probably hurt your back)
Sex (not necessarily effective, but more fun than curb walking)
Foot massage right below the ankle
Castor Oil (guaranteed to give you diarrea)
Trampoline jumping
Four wheeling
Crawling around on hands and knees as fast as you can (seriously, someone told me to do this- I must seem very desperate)
Eating spicy foods

If anyone else has heard of another crazy way to induce labor let me know. As far as I can tell the thing I really need to do is have my mom smuggle me some Pitocin. Not likely.